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This section contains the funniest quotes, moments, and gags in the history of the Simpsons. I've highlighted my personal favorites, and surely if you love the Simpsons, they're yours too.

"Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire"
(The family is watching the Springfield Elementary Christmas Show, and Todd Flanders is in the band)
Flanders: (sobbing with joy) Oh, my son. My son!
Homer: Don't worry, Flanders. He's not that bad.

"Bart The Genius"
(Bart's in the class for gifted children and his teacher is doing a difficult math problem on the board. The following is transcribed by The Simpsons Archive)
Ms. M: So \math y = r^3/3 \math. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Class: [chuckles]
Ms. M: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative \math dy = 3 r^2 / 3 \math, or \math r^2 dr \math, or \math r\,dr\,r\math. Har-de-har-har, get it?
Bart: [not amused] Oh, yeah. [forced laugh]

"Homer's Odyssey"
Homer's new safety signs include: "Dip," "Please Drive Friendly," "Speed Bump," and "Sign Ahead."

"There's No Disgrace Like Home"
(The family snoops around the neighborhood to see what other normal famililes are like)
Bart: Whoa! Look at this place, what a dump!
Homer: It's worst than you think, heh heh heh. I just trampled this poor sap's flower bed.
Marge: Homer, this is our house.
Homer: D'oh!

"Moaning Lisa"
Bart and Lisa challenge Maggie to choose which one of them she loves more. After some thought, Maggie hugs the TV.

"The Call Of The Simpsons"
Homer and Bart are lost in the woods and try to catch some food. He makes a trap out of a tree sapling and watches as a rabbit hops onto it. The sapling acts as a catapault and flings the rabbit a large distance. Homer then decides to flush a rabbit out of a bush. He goes in and comes out covered in small woodland animals biting him. He flails about frantically, but Bart just watches him.

"Life On The Fast Lane"
Marge takes a shot at bowling at Barney's Bowl-A-Rama and meets a suave bowler named Jacques. Marge inadvertently throws her ball into Jacques' lane. Jacques responds: "Entirely my fault"

"Krusty Gets Busted"
Homer is shopping for ice cream in the Kwik-E-Mart when he sees a guy who looks like Krusty holding up the store. He then dives into a rack of chips with a cowardly scream. The audience in court agreed it was funny when they watched the tape from video surveillance!

"Some Enchanted Evening"
(Marge calls the Rubber Baby Buggy Bumper Babysitting Service and is promptly shut down when she says she's a Simpson. Homer calls a second later with a fake name)
Homer: Hello, this is Mr...Sampson.
Receptionist: Did your wife call a second ago?
Homer: No, I said Sampson, not Simpson.

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